i know what i want but i dont know if i will ever get it. i think happiness is just some lie. no my goal isnt to be more like jesus. its to be happy but everywhere i go happiness is sucked out of me. happiness is supposed to be within me. what is happiness anyway. is it a feeling. is it a state of mind. is it something you feel when you have sex or work. every time i have sex i feel like shit after. is that normal. theres clearly something wrong with me. have you seen my hair. she always said you can tell how crazy people are at how their hair is. thats mostly true. now that i think about she is crazy. ocd is a mental disorder. duh!!! why didnt i think of that before. anyway i went off topic happiness. wtf is happiness. how can i get it. i just want what i want. i want andrew and jesus and my family and my bff. and maybe mac miller. and drake.